There are many reasons that could cause us to become separated from someone that we love. Family members may die, friends may move to different parts of the world for school or love, partners may break up with us. It is a natural part of life, but that doesn’t make it any easier to deal with.
Letting go of those who we love can be difficult, but it is also one of the most rewarding and liberating experiences that a person can have. When you have the strength to let go of those of these people, you also let go of the power that they hold over you and your emotions.
Unfortunately, learning to let go is easier said than done. This article will teach you the basics of how to let go of someone that you love.
The Difference Between Unconditional and Possessive Love
We hear the term ‘unconditional love’ thrown around quite a bit these days, but it can be a bit difficult to understand its meaning.
Unconditional love means that others are deserving of your love, regardless of whether or not they are acting in a manner which you approve of. If you love someone unconditionally, then you allow them to do, think, say, and feel whatever they want without allowing your love for them to waver.
Many of us believe that we love others unconditionally – especially our loved ones – but may find that we are shocked, heartbroken, or dismayed when they decide that they need to move on from us. This means that we have become possessive of their love, in the sense that we rely on it to ensure our own well-being.
Being possessive of another person or their love can make it very difficult to let go of them when they have decided to move on – to the next place, or to the next life. Avoiding possessiveness is a preliminary step in making the whole process easier.
Tips on Letting Go of Others
Even if you are not possessive, it can still hurt to let go of others – particularly if their departure arises unexpectedly. Here are some tips that could help you let go easier.
Make Space for Your Feelings
Take time to sit with your feelings. Create space for them. Acknowledge, for yourself, why you are hurt, and allow these emotions to rise up. Instead of pushing them away, reaching for a drink, or bottling them up, allow yourself the time to understand why they are arising, and what you are going to miss about this person.
One of the easiest things to do after a loved one departs from you is to begin fantasizing. Especially after breakups, many people are quick to begin fantasizing about how they can get their partner back. You may also have unpleasant fantasies about your partner enjoying life without you.
Remember to stay grounded, and that fantasizing takes time away from actually making decisions and engaging in the real world. If there is something you can do to win your partner back, it is likely not sitting around dreaming about it.
One of the first things that you should do is to forgive the individual – be it your partner, your family member, or yourself. In the case of relationships and marriages, it’s equally – if not more – important to practice self-forgiveness.
Practicing forgiveness allows you to view the situation through an unbiased lens. It will remove the influences of blame and anger – two tremendous barriers that make it nearly impossible to let go of something.
Another important thing to do is to reach out to others. You might be able to go it alone, but this could put unnecessary pain and strain on you. One of the best things for you to do is to reach out to friends and family members who will listen to you.
Letting go of a loved one is one of the most difficult things to do. Fortunately, we can prepare for the process by making sure to practice non-possessive, unconditional love. When we do need to let go, there are a number of practices that can help make the process easier.